Spiritual growth is the key to overcoming terrible things.
It’s daunting and it’s messy. Unlike established religions or philosophies, spirituality has no rules or imposed structure. It gives one the opportunity to practice eclecticism: gather things that work for you, and develop your own beliefs, rituals, and practices. It’s the ultimate example of, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”
The aspect folks tend to struggle with most if they have faith in a Higher Power (HP) is, how do we know what our HP wants for us and from us? We struggle, seeking guidance and direction, and we hope to find “signs” even as we’re up to our eyeballs in fear and shame.
I’ve been known to make signs. They’re cheesy and simple. I encourage folks to put them on their refrigerator doors. I don’t claim to know more about “God” than anyone else. I know what works for me and I know there are things that seem to work for everyone. The signs I create say things like:
Please stop putting toxic substances into your body
Please stop destroying the person I love
Please be kind to yourself. Be patient, you are a work in progress.
I joked with someone near and dear to me recently that I have to pay close attention to the signs in my path because my HP still doesn’t actually send me letters. She shared how much she’d love to receive one. So, with my sense of what her HP wants for her and a liberal dose of poetic license, here’s the email she received:
For all that has been written of me and all of the questions asked endlessly about me, I want you to feel free to believe, access, and experience me however you care to. Find me in nature, in the company of friends and family, in 12 step fellowships, in church, or in any healthy undertakings that bring you a sense of peace, joy, and fulfillment.
My love for you is unconditional and what I want for you is so much greater than what you allow yourself.
It is not your view of me, but rather, your view of you that I most wish would change. You find it difficult to believe in me because you find it difficult to believe in yourself.
The lessons taught to you about your worth were never true. They originated in the sickness of those who raised you. They were in the lies others used to justify hurting you.
The foundation for your self-worth is built on false beliefs. This distorts the perception you have of you. It’s warped by every scar you bare (the ones that show and the ones that don’t).
The betrayal, violation, and failures of others were internalized and became your shame. In truth, it does not belong to you.
What saddens me most is that you treat you as they treated you. I want so much more for you.
I will put people in your path who will value you and show you the truth about you. I know that you struggle to trust. I ask that you put stock in your intuition and allow yourself to recognize kindred spirits.
Some of the very best people are those who see or saw themselves as broken. Healing together is infinitely more feasible than doing it alone. Connection is spiritual in and of itself.
Do others a great service by allowing them to serve you.
– Your H.P.