Is it ok to hate perpetrators?

To those who abuse, assault,
 
 and otherwise, harm
 
 for personal gain or pleasure,

I’m thinking about you today
 
 because I am tired.

It’s a good kind of tired.
 
 I’ve been busy
 
 serving your children,
 
 your former partners,
 
 those you bullied.
 
 Helping them fix themselves and grieve
 
 I’ve been doing it for a long time.

This is not self-pity, nor the whining
 
 of a burned-out social worker.
 
 This is simply reflection
 
 As evidenced by simple truth:
 
 Anyone I might be describing
 
 is assuredly not reading this.

Because, why would you?
 
 People like me seek
 
 accountability and reparations
 
 from people like you.
 
 But people like you
 
 are consistent.
 
 You never come through.

I used to be unspeakably angry with you.
 
 I stopped that because
 
 it was a barrier to serving
 
 people like me
 
 who survived.

I learned how to let go
 
 And yet every day, there’s more
 
 to release.

Choosing to forgive our abusers
 
 Is not about helping them feel better
 
 Nor does it mean that we’re saying it’s ok.
 
 Forgiveness can be selfish and
 
 It is how we become progressively free
 
 of what they instilled and made us believe.

It’s ok to hate
 
 But do it fully
 
 and passionately
 
 Rage destroys
 
 those who carry it

Let go.
 
 Let go.
 
 Let go.

I promise:
 
 You won’t miss it when it’s gone.

#neglect #abuse #overcoming #trauma #incest #recovery #reclaiming #betrayal #poetry #violation #sexualabuse #rape