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Is it ok to hate perpetrators?

Updated: Feb 10, 2020

To those who abuse, assault, and otherwise, harm for personal gain or pleasure,

I’m thinking about you today because I am tired.

It’s a good kind of tired. I’ve been busy serving your children, your former partners, those you bullied. Helping them fix themselves and grieve I’ve been doing it for a long time.

This is not self-pity, nor the whining of a burned-out social worker. This is simply reflection As evidenced by simple truth: Anyone I might be describing is assuredly not reading this.

Because, why would you? People like me seek accountability and reparations from people like you. But people like you are consistent. You never come through.

I used to be unspeakably angry with you. I stopped that because it was a barrier to serving people like me who survived.

I learned how to let go And yet every day, there’s more to release.

Choosing to forgive our abusers Is not about helping them feel better Nor does it mean that we’re saying it’s ok. Forgiveness can be selfish and It is how we become progressively free of what they instilled and made us believe.

It’s ok to hate But do it fully and passionately Rage destroys those who carry it

Let go. Let go. Let go.

I promise: You won’t miss it when it’s gone.

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