Latest Facebook meme that makes me wanna hit my head against a wall: “I keep it all inside because I’d rather the pain destroy me than everyone else.”
I hate shit like this because it glorifies doing something incredibly unhealthy. It’s like saying, “Hells yes, I want to ensure ongoing depression and anxiety. Furthermore, I’d really like to wreck my G.I. and immune systems.”
It’s also a lie.
The real reasons we hold things in are because we’re ashamed to let others see them and because we’re afraid to let them go. Our society has some fucked up ideas about what it means to be “strong.” The truth is it takes a lot more guts to let it go than to hold it in.
We’re afraid of falling apart but our silence leaves us feeling broken. Some of us hide it well, but you can’t conceal it from a kindred spirit. We see ourselves in you. When we share our stories with each other, we create opportunities to heal.
The two most beautiful words I have ever heard are, “Me too.” I heard those words when I talked about: my childhood, being bullied, being poor, self loathing, being afraid, being alone and being my own worst enemy.
Identifying with others forced me to see my hypocrisy. I saw that I judged others fairly but not myself. I found that I condemned myself for things I would never blame another person for. My perspective changed when I became willing to see through other’s eyes.
No one can hurt me by sharing their pain. I can bear witness without taking it on as my own. Their stories connect me to the ones I haven’t yet told.
Vulnerability is the key to intimacy and freedom. It allows us to be understood, to release and to receive. Vulnerability requires nothing more than candor and letting others close enough to connect meaningfully.
It’s still scary. I can only promise you that when it’s done with good people, it’s liberating. You deserve to be free of all that imprisons you.